It's "just one day" in your life. You need to get through it and you will soon have your baby in your arms.
This is the most amazingly sad way in which our culture minimises the enormity of the birth experience. Birth is and can be so much more than "just one day" in a person's life.
Ask any mom about the day(s) she gave birth and I can guarantee you there is something she remembers in great detail. It could be something small, something big, a scent, a feeling, a song that was playing, how she was treated, who was minding her older children, that super supportive midwife, something funny, how her birth partner helped (or didn’t) and sometimes something incredibly awful or traumatising. For the sake of this blog post, I'm not going to focus on WHAT is remembered but the fact that soooooo much is remembered! And these memories often don't fade over time.
Parents carry these memories with them for a lifetime!
Many a mum will think back about their child's birth annually on their birthday, remembering where they were or what they were doing at that very moment. The idea that birth is "just one day" strategically minimises the impact of someone's birth experience. It doesn't encourage soon to be parents to prepare, it encourages them to be passive. It doesn't encourage them to learn about their options or think about what they want their birth to be like. It’s “just one day,” after all. It devalues not only the birth day for the mom, but also for the baby.
It might as well say, "who cares what happens, it's just one day! Get on with it, meet your baby and life goes on."
This.is.wrong. For many new parents, the day their child is born isn't "just a day.." it's THE DAY!
Instead of shrugging off a mother's day of birth, what if we helped her feel confident and prepared for any path labour may take? What if we sat down with her and really listened about any of her fears and what she was looking forward to? What if we asked her what she thinks she will need the most help with? What if we asked her what she has visualized about her birth? What if we helped her prepare for a positive experience that she could look back on with joy?
Instead of trying to shrink the transformation that is birth to "just one day," I think we need to lovingly embrace it for all that it can be.
If you are ready to prepare for your amazing birth, let’s connect! I would love to meet with you in person or organise a video consultation where we can cover all things pregnancy, birth and baby. You set the pace and decide what topics you would like covered!
